What I've Learned About Working with a Spouse
We’ve reached a tipping point in DGI’s lifespan where I’ve now been working with my husband Mike for more time than I was working alone…it’s hard to believe because it still feels like just yesterday that we made the terrifying decision for him to quit his solid, promising career in the tech world to partner with me and help me grow the business. In the time we’ve been working together, (just about two years) we’ve grown the company to eight employees, we’ve increased our project count to almost 45 this past year alone and grew the business 600% our first year together, and 200% the second year. In short, it was the best decision we’ve ever made, both personally and professionally.
Today, I’m addressing the question we got every time we meet someone new (or see family and friends), “What’s it like working together every day?”
To be brutally honest, I don’t think everyone could work with a spouse, there are a lot of factors that weigh in to make it successful. Mike and I are incredibly fortunate in that we compliment each other with a skillset that the other person isn’t as dominant in. Notice, I didn’t say the other person doesn’t have it…we both have a taste for what the other person does, so we can communicate clearly about things, but we have clearly identified one another’s strengths and let each other run with them. In our business, I run the creative-side and Mike runs the business-side. We each have such an appreciation for what the other one does on a daily basis, but we each stay in our own lane to keep things moving slowly. If you have the ability to do it, and have a clear model for how it could work, working with your spouse is a really wonderful opportunity. Who else knows you better, has your back completely and is motivated for all the same reasons you are? I’ve fallen in love all over again with Mike after working with him because it allowed me to see a whole new side of him that I had never been exposed to before. While it can be incredibly rewarding, there are a few things to keep in mind to keep things going smoothly, so I’ve compiled a few tips below:
Accept the fact that you will have no work life balance.
If you’re an entrepreneur, you’ve probably already accepted this. Running a business means it consumes your thoughts, your time and your general headspace. If this scares you, you shouldn’t run your own business because there is no avoiding it if you want to be successful. As an added perk, when your spouse joins you in the business, you give up any separation of work and home-life. It’s rare for Mike and I to talk about much other than the business, but this isn’t a negative to us. Some of my favorite nights are when we have a glass of wine and curl up on the sofa talking for hours about dreams and goals we have for the business, and how we see our future unfolding.
Celebrate the highs and support each other through the lows.
The best part of working with my husband is that when we have a big win or breakthrough with the company, we BOTH are ecstatic because it means our efforts are paying off. We’ve been incredibly fortunate in that there haven’t been too many low-moments yet, but I’m sure they will come with time as they do with most businesses. That said, we do carry an unbelievable load of stress on a daily basis, but fortunately because we each operate on different sides of the business, our stressful moments are usually opposite one another. For example, sometimes we’ll have five design presentations in one week, and I’ll been incredibly busy and stressed making sure everything goes smoothly and our team is in good shape. This time of year, Mike gets to deal with year-end business logistics in addition to the implementation phase of our projects, so his workload becomes overwhelming. As a co-working couple, it’s so important to take it easy on your spouse when you know they’re under a lot of pressure at work. We help each other out by picking up more of the home-life responsibilities when the other one is stressed with work…it’s all about teamwork!
You may meet a new side to your partner which can be shocking at times.
In these past two years, Mike and I have had to learn each other’s work styles, and to be honest, it’s still a work in progress. We work so differently and it’s hard sometimes to respect and trust the way the other one does things. For example, I’m a sprinter with work. I tend to work fast, hard, and push myself to unhealthy limits to get everything done to a level I can be proud of, which occasionally results in me crashing and suffering in my personal life (I credit Architecture studio courses and multiple all-nighters being a token of pride for this…I’m not saying it’s healthy). It’s something I’m working on a lot this year, and something I look to Mike as a role model for. Mike is so much better about keeping things in balance, a trait I am envious of. It took a while for us to learn each other’s work styles…both of ours completely stress the other person out at times, but it’s what works for us. In addition to work styles, we get to actually watch one another in action. I am in constant awe of Mike’s ability to craft the most thoughtful, impactful and effective emails and interactions with clients and team members. It’s such a valuable skill when growing a business and he has elevated things to the next level for our business, which I think has really helped us succeed so quickly. Mike on the other hand is always complimenting my ability to recall details from walkthroughs and conversations with clients that allow us to be successful when executing projects and designs. Seeing this other side to each other has given each of us huge respect for one another, and in my opinion, it’s what makes us such a great team.
Working together will amplify every emotion you already feel for your business.
Disclaimer before this next part: We don’t have kids, so I hope I’m not offending anyone with kids by saying these things!!
Running a business with your spouse feels a lot like parenting. This is the first thing that Mike and I have truly created together, so to us, it almost feels like a baby. We lose sleep over it, we cry (okay, I cry) when big milestones are achieved or when the stress gets to be too much, we are SO incredibly proud of our employees and will literally tell each other stories over dinner about little things that happened during the day that made us laugh or smile (sorry if that’s weird team DGI, but we just love you guys, what can I say), we have also sacrificed a lot for this…social lives, exercise, you name it. We also talk about it to all of our family and friends constantly when we see them which I’m sure drives them nuts at times, but we are just so excited and proud of it, we can’t keep it to ourselves.
If you take anything away from this blog, I hope it’s that working with your spouse can be incredibly rewarding, but it is a huge life change and commitment, so enter with a plan. If you are considering it and have any questions, please feel free to DM me on instagram or email me at info@devongraceinteriors.com, I’m more than happy to talk about it with you more! And if you already work with your spouse and have anything to add to this list, feel free to add them in the comments!
-dgw
